Redeemed

It is so exhausting trying to live a perfect life.  Always trying not to break any rule and keep up appearances.  I am so glad that I don't have to do any of this.  Having a life that exemplifies the perfect situation.  Graduation.  Marriage.  2.5 kids.  Great Job.  History has shown that there were a group of people called the Israelites, God's chosen people, who were given Ten Commandments.  For a short while they tried to live according to these rules.  They were so thankful for what God had done for them when He delivered them out of Egypt. Soon after they were given these commandments though, they broke them.  They disobeyed God in a major way over and over and over again. 

One of the things I have to fight hard against is the spirit of failure.  In every area of my life I have certain expectations of myself. This started out at an early age. Because of my intelligence, which was a gift from God, everybody told me what I should do and who I should be. Sometimes it included God and other times it didn't.  It wasn't long before this became my very way of life.  I had given myself a time line and was determined not to waiver in any way from my goals.  Suffice it to say the first time I didn't meet one of these goals it hit me very hard.  On top of that, I was raised in the church. I knew right from wrong and there were certain things I did and I knew they were wrong.  I got pregnant out of wedlock. And then, much like the Israelites, the cycle began. Single mother, dropped out of college, divorcee, just to name a few.  Then there are the sins that I can't seem to stop doing.  I try to control my tongue Lord but she made me upset and I had to tell her off. Although You told me in Your Word that 'death and life are in the power of the tongue'.  (Proverbs 18:21) My words have the power to build up, yet I find myself at times tearing things down. 

Today as I was driving home from class I became excited.  Why?  Just at the realization of what Jesus did for me at Calvary.  Because of his sacrifice on Calvary and the shedding of His innocent blood, I don't have to live a perfect life.  No matter how hard I may try, it will never happen.  If I could what purpose would there have been for God sending His only begotten Son to die for my sins.  God knew that I would experience failure.  At the very moment sin entered into the world through Adam's disobedience, God realized that it would take more than my actions to save me.  I would never be perfect but I could be redeemed.  'Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated [us] into the kingdom of his dear Son: In whom we have redemption through his blood, [even] the forgiveness of sins'. Colossians 1:13-14  Have you ever taken a moment and thought about what this means?  You are no longer a slave to sin even though you were born into sin.  There are not too many things you can rid yourself of that you were born with. Yes, there are all kinds of surgeries that can alter the way you look but underneath you are still that same person.  When God redeems you, He washes you with His blood.  You have been delivered by payment of a ransom.  Jesus paid it all.  All He asks of us is that we want to live right and that is shown through our actions.  He wants you to try.  He understands that you will slip up.  When you do, own up to it.  Ask God to forgive you.  If it is something that you know you struggle with more than something else, ask God to change your behavior, from the inside out. Admit to yourself right now that you will never be perfect.  Stop beating yourself up about it and having a defeatist attitude. This should only deepen your relationship with God.   While on this earth you are going through a sanctification process.  This is not your excuse to sin.  To just run off at the mouth and tell everyone off anytime you feel like. To hook up with Billy Bob or Sally Sue anytime you feel like it. Own up to your struggle.  That is the first step in the right direction.  It gives God free reign to make the changes He needs to make in your life.  He is just that good of  a God. 
 
Driving home today and reminding myself of this very thought felt like a load being lifted.  I needed to stop putting so much pressure on myself and realize that God is there always to help me in my time of need.  I can call on Him at anytime.  The fact that I feel bad about my failures is just His blood working within me, further cleansing me from the impurity of sin.  I'm okay with that.  No longer will I allow Satan to bring me down by telling me that I'm not good enough or by making me feel like a failure.  I have been redeemed...washed in the blood of the Lamb.  Bought with a price.  He justified me.  And right now I am being sanctified. More importantly, one day I will be glorified. 
 
Lord,
 
Thank you for the gift of eternal life.  I thank You for sacrificing Your Son just for me.  I thank You for the blood that washes me clean.  I thank You because even though I may fall short, You are there to life me up.  I am no longer a slave to sin.  I have been bought with a price.  Help me to continue to become more like You.  Create in me a clean heart O God and renew a right spirit within me.  I am lifting my eyes up to the hills where I know my help comes from. It is You, the one who made the heaven and the earth.  Help me to remember that you will perform your work in me until it is complete.  I am walking in my destiny.  In Jesus' Wonderful Name I pray Amen.