A Heart Condition - Unforgiveness

For if you forgive people their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6: 14

Forgiving someone is sometimes one of the most difficult things to do.  I may be able to forgive someone the first time but when they continue the same behavior it becomes even more difficult for me to forgive them.  That was until I truly saw forgiveness for what it is.  Forgiveness is typically defined as the process of concluding resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense, difference or mistake, and/or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution.  I remember one day sitting at home and just getting angry over something someone had done and after all I had done for that person.  All of the hurt I felt just came rushing over me and I just cried and cried.  I knew that the right thing to do was forgive but I just wasn't ready.  At first I tried to say that I had forgiven but I realized that my actions were still demanding punishment or some form of restitution.  I was not even close to forgiving.  Later on that day I came across this verse and just kept rereading what it said.  The Bible was instructing me to forgive my brother and to forgive my sister and then God would forgive me.  My spirit was arrested.  I couldn't help but think about my many mistakes and then compare them to all that God had done for me.  And how He could easily sit around and wait for me to show Him that I deserved His forgiveness.  But that is not how the Lord works.  We are told that 'if we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness'.  That doesn't mean that we sin just because...but it does mean that God's Word is true and if we ask Him He will forgive us. 

I used to make all kinds of excuses.  I would say things like "I am not God."  "It's not that easy."  "I am not going to continue to look like a fool."  I soon learned that forgiveness was not really about the other person.   You see, holding on to that pain had become my safety net.  I thought it shielded me from being hurt again. Once I learned how to forgive, it actually released a heavy burden off my shoulders.  Freeing me up from always looking back and expecting the worse. Realizing that I am accountable for me and my behavior and not someone else's.  And the thing that really helped me with this concept of forgiving others was that I did not want to tie God's hands from the blessings He had in store for me.  I was tired of being stuck in that same rut....not able to move forward and always looking back.  So I prayed about that thing and gave it over to God and asked him to soften my hardened heart.  I didn't like the person I had become.  I had always been a loving person and now I was skeptical of everyone.  And let me tell you that He did.  At the same time I was free to receive the blessings God had for my life. 

If your heart has hardened against your brother or your sister, I tell you to turn it over to God.  Ask Him to help you.  I am a witness that He will.  And if you continue to struggle with this issue just think about how many times God has forgiven you.  That ought to be enough to change your mind.

Dear Lord,

I know that your Word tells me that I am to forgive my brother and my sister but I confess to you today that it is hard.  Every time I think about what was done I get so upset.  So I am asking you to 'create in me a clean heart O God and renew a right spirit within me'.  I know that my unforgiveness is a heart problem and only you can change me.  I am giving it to you and leaving it with you.  Thank you for helping me. I love you Lord. In Jesus' Wonderful Name Amen.