A Safe Place

For the most part I am a private person.  I don't share much about my life and what is going on with too many people.  In fact,  I spent half of my life pretending to be this well put together person who has this 'crazy' faith.  No matter what I was facing I had to remain strong, never showing a sign of weakness. Now it may be okay for me to behave this way with people around me but it poses a problem when it comes to my relationship with God.  I begin to develop a pattern of  holding on to the very things that God so dearly wanted me to give to Him.  I found myself trying to solve problems that were way beyond my control.  I prayed but, even in prayer, I was guarded. It wasn't until I had a conversation with my Pastor that I realized that my being strong and trying so hard to act as if everything was okay was not giving God the opportunity to stand up in my life the way He wanted to.  In fact, it was hindering God from being glorified through my life.  I knew that this behavior was exhausting and so many times made me feel as though I was a failure when things didn't turn out the way that I had hoped.  There I was trying so hard to be all things to all people.  Fighting to live up to the expectations of people who at the end of the day didn't relly matter, all the while suffering silently.

When I was a little girl my mother had me and all of my siblings memorize the 91st Psalm. There were several other chapters that we had to memorize but this one has stuck with me my entire life.  I think of it now as I realize that the problem I experienced all those years (and even now tries to sneak back in) was a lack of trust.  I didn't feel safe so I tried to control as much of my life as I could.  Unfortunately I had been on the receiving end of several false friends. And there were times when I was not the best friend that I could have been.  Sidenote:  How easy it is to get caught up in a whirlwind of gossip and betrayal.  The next time you find yourself spending so much time talking about the lives of others, take a minute and look in the mirror.  What do you see?  Unless it is the image of the Son of God then I would advise you not to be so quick to talk about someone else's misfortune. All of us stand in need of God's forgiveness, His grace and His mercy.    Now back to our regularly scheduled program.... Let's take a look a the first couple of verses of this Psalm. 

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say to the Lord, "My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust (Ps. 91:-2)

Here the Psalmist paints a picture of the safety you will find in the arms of God. These verses give a vivid description of an intimate place of divine protection. There is no better place to be. In this place you can lay out all of your fears and insecurities. You can share your deepest, darkest secret without being afraid that it will be repeated.  It is in this place that you will find safety.  I often wondered why my mother had us learning all these scriptures.  I guess she was trying to share with her children the one treasure that a bad economy could never take away....and that treasure was the Word of God.  She realized the value of hiding it in our hearts.  She knew that there would come a time when we could not be comforted.  Those people and things that we had come to rely on would let us down.  She had a pretty good idea that we would grow weary because life would get hard.  She knew that our best laid plans may get crushed, that our hearts would be broken, that sometimes our money would get funny, friends would turn their backs on us and some friends we would simply have to walk away from.  All these things she knew and wanted us to know too. 

You see, there is value in realizing that as  a Christian you  have a safe place  that you can go to.  A place where you can speak freely.  You can let down your guard and not feel like you have to be 'okay' all the time. It is in this place of safety that you can let go of false realities.  You can scream and shout that sometimes life is unfair.  You're doing the right things and yet and still you are suffering.  It is okay to be broken sometimes.  God knows that you hurt and sometimes you are sad; that sometimes you don't feel like smiling.  And that's alright.  It's okay to acknowledge that you don't always have it together.  That you grieve differently than the next person.  That you wish you had 'the wings of a dove so you could fly away'.  It's time that you let all of this go.  Let God help you be the wife, mother, husband, father, sister, brother, friend, and coworker that He would have you to be.  It's time to stop living in the land of Should Be and start trusting in the One Who Is.  It's time out for leaning on your own understanding. Instead practice leaning on the everlasting arms of Jesus.  It is in those arms that you will find safety and security.  Rest in Him.

Most Gracious Heavenly Father,

I come to You today in the humblest way that I know how, confessing my sins to You.  Lord for so long I have worn a mask, afraid to show my limitations and my weaknesses.  But now I turn them over to You. I don't want to be the strong one anymore.  In fact I want to be fully exposed so that You can continue to make the necessary changes in my life that make me more like You.  Lord I thank You in advance for the changes You are making in my life.  Help me to use them for Your glory to continue to help others along life's journey.  In Jesus' Name I pray Amen.