Better Days

It has been a rough couple of months.  Some mornings I just wanted to stay in the bed.  All sorts of things running through my head.  Every emotion you could possibly imagine feeling, I felt.  Usually when I feel this way I can find refuge in going to church, fellowship with other Christians, singing in the choir and hearing the Word of God imparted.  This time that didn't work.  After the loss of my Pastor I didn't feel much like going to church.  My heart was sad and it effected every part of my life.  Although I would much rather have taken some time off from life, I couldn't.  I still had people who needed me, my husband, my children, family, and friends.  You see, one thing that I have learned is that the life of an Encourager is often a lonely one.  Everyone is used to you being upbeat, always knowing the right words to say, being that person who is  'able to get a prayer through'.  We aren't supposed to be sad or have an off day.  Because of this we learn to build up fake walls that eventually come crashing down.  Because the truth of the matter is that as strong as our faith may be and no matter how much we love God, we get drained. When this happens we find ourselves looking for those who are able to provide refreshment and pour back into our buckets.  We don't set the expectation bar too high because we realize that everyone is going through something so we don't want to become a burden.  But because we know this, over the years God has placed people in our lives who we can confide in. Those who will pray for us.  The ones who see behind the mask. So you are probably asking yourself why am I telling you all this?  Because I know that each and every one of you reading this today sometimes get to the point that you are drained.  You are at the crossroads of life.  You don't know what direction to take.  You get in a 'funk' and you can't seem to shake it.  So what do you do?

There is a song that I love that I find myself singing at some of my most difficult moments.  The lyrics are as follows:  'When my heart is overwhelmed, my prayer is Lead me to the Rock.  Lead me to the Rock that's higher than I Oh Lord, higher than I'.  There is something about the words of this song that put me in a place of worship.  A place where I am no longer focused on what is going on in my life but instead I am focused on God.  And that is a good place for me to be.  It is in this place  that I find safety.  I am free to speak my mind, tell God all about my problems. My soul is rejuvenated.  My spirit is refreshed.  I often leave this song and move into another song that simply says, 'I'm in His safety, rest in His safety, the safety of the Lord'.  Are you starting to see a pattern?  As a Christian you simply cannot stay in a depressed, negative state of mind when you keep your mind stayed on Jesus.  Don't you know that your Heavenly Father wants nothing more than to bestow bountiful blessings on His children?  Some tangible and some intangible.  And as for me, while I love those blessings that I can see and touch, I am starting to learn as I grow older and wiser that I would much rather have the intangible blessings.  Things like peace and joy.  Man can come take all the other things from me but my God is no Indian Giver.  'This joy I have the world didn't give it to me.  The world didn't give it and the world can't take it away'.  That's good news y'all!

And that's not all...  I have also found that it is during this time that God is trying to get your attention.  He wants to take you to that next level. Time to go higher in Him!  He wants to see what your response will be.  Who are you going to run to?  Are you going to open up your Bible and let the Lord speak to you through His Word?  Are you going to cut back on your tv time to spend more time in communion with the Father?  Everything that you need is at your disposal. But as the old saying goes, "You can lead a horse to the water but you can't make Him drink."  God is not going to force feed the Word to you.  And I am just here to remind you that it is necessary for your survival.  If you are still going all week long only reading your Bible on Sunday, it's time to make a change. The Christian needs a steady diet of the Word of God.  Prayer is not an option; it is a necessity.  Allow God to transform you by the renewing of Your mind.  The God we serve is awesome and able to meet your every need.  The sky may look dark right now but remember, 'Weeping may endure for a night but joy cometh in the morning'. (Ps. 30:5)  'They that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary.  They shall walk and npt faint.  (Isaiah 40:30-31) 

Most Gracious Heavenly Father,

I come to You today standing in the need.  I'm not quite sure what is going on in my life right now.  But I know that when I don't know I can come to You for guidance and direction.  Help me to dig deeper into Your Word and listen for Your still small voice.  Help me not to look not only at my situation but to fix my eyes on You.  I am trusting You with every area of my life, submitting to Your will.  I love You Lord and I will forever praise Your name because You are Worthy!  In Jesus' Wonderfu; Name I pray Amen. 

A Safe Place

For the most part I am a private person.  I don't share much about my life and what is going on with too many people.  In fact,  I spent half of my life pretending to be this well put together person who has this 'crazy' faith.  No matter what I was facing I had to remain strong, never showing a sign of weakness. Now it may be okay for me to behave this way with people around me but it poses a problem when it comes to my relationship with God.  I begin to develop a pattern of  holding on to the very things that God so dearly wanted me to give to Him.  I found myself trying to solve problems that were way beyond my control.  I prayed but, even in prayer, I was guarded. It wasn't until I had a conversation with my Pastor that I realized that my being strong and trying so hard to act as if everything was okay was not giving God the opportunity to stand up in my life the way He wanted to.  In fact, it was hindering God from being glorified through my life.  I knew that this behavior was exhausting and so many times made me feel as though I was a failure when things didn't turn out the way that I had hoped.  There I was trying so hard to be all things to all people.  Fighting to live up to the expectations of people who at the end of the day didn't relly matter, all the while suffering silently.

When I was a little girl my mother had me and all of my siblings memorize the 91st Psalm. There were several other chapters that we had to memorize but this one has stuck with me my entire life.  I think of it now as I realize that the problem I experienced all those years (and even now tries to sneak back in) was a lack of trust.  I didn't feel safe so I tried to control as much of my life as I could.  Unfortunately I had been on the receiving end of several false friends. And there were times when I was not the best friend that I could have been.  Sidenote:  How easy it is to get caught up in a whirlwind of gossip and betrayal.  The next time you find yourself spending so much time talking about the lives of others, take a minute and look in the mirror.  What do you see?  Unless it is the image of the Son of God then I would advise you not to be so quick to talk about someone else's misfortune. All of us stand in need of God's forgiveness, His grace and His mercy.    Now back to our regularly scheduled program.... Let's take a look a the first couple of verses of this Psalm. 

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say to the Lord, "My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust (Ps. 91:-2)

Here the Psalmist paints a picture of the safety you will find in the arms of God. These verses give a vivid description of an intimate place of divine protection. There is no better place to be. In this place you can lay out all of your fears and insecurities. You can share your deepest, darkest secret without being afraid that it will be repeated.  It is in this place that you will find safety.  I often wondered why my mother had us learning all these scriptures.  I guess she was trying to share with her children the one treasure that a bad economy could never take away....and that treasure was the Word of God.  She realized the value of hiding it in our hearts.  She knew that there would come a time when we could not be comforted.  Those people and things that we had come to rely on would let us down.  She had a pretty good idea that we would grow weary because life would get hard.  She knew that our best laid plans may get crushed, that our hearts would be broken, that sometimes our money would get funny, friends would turn their backs on us and some friends we would simply have to walk away from.  All these things she knew and wanted us to know too. 

You see, there is value in realizing that as  a Christian you  have a safe place  that you can go to.  A place where you can speak freely.  You can let down your guard and not feel like you have to be 'okay' all the time. It is in this place of safety that you can let go of false realities.  You can scream and shout that sometimes life is unfair.  You're doing the right things and yet and still you are suffering.  It is okay to be broken sometimes.  God knows that you hurt and sometimes you are sad; that sometimes you don't feel like smiling.  And that's alright.  It's okay to acknowledge that you don't always have it together.  That you grieve differently than the next person.  That you wish you had 'the wings of a dove so you could fly away'.  It's time that you let all of this go.  Let God help you be the wife, mother, husband, father, sister, brother, friend, and coworker that He would have you to be.  It's time to stop living in the land of Should Be and start trusting in the One Who Is.  It's time out for leaning on your own understanding. Instead practice leaning on the everlasting arms of Jesus.  It is in those arms that you will find safety and security.  Rest in Him.

Most Gracious Heavenly Father,

I come to You today in the humblest way that I know how, confessing my sins to You.  Lord for so long I have worn a mask, afraid to show my limitations and my weaknesses.  But now I turn them over to You. I don't want to be the strong one anymore.  In fact I want to be fully exposed so that You can continue to make the necessary changes in my life that make me more like You.  Lord I thank You in advance for the changes You are making in my life.  Help me to use them for Your glory to continue to help others along life's journey.  In Jesus' Name I pray Amen.