Unconditional Love

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.  I John 4:8

What is unconditional love?  It is loving someone regardless of his or her qualities or actions.  It is often compared to the love a mother has for her child.  Am I capable of giving someone unconditional love?  Do I have the ability to look beyond someone's faults and love them anyway?  These are all questions that I have asked myself over the years and I can't tell you how many times I have failed.  One thing that I have realized is that without God's help I am not able to love someone past their faults. In fact, over the years I have become quite good at 'keeping very good records of wrongs'.  Little did I know that doing this was causing more harm to me than good.  The part that I was missing was having a forgiving heart.  How could I say I loved my brother or my sister when I was so unwilling to forgive. 

Where does unconditional love begin?  First and foremost it begins with God for God is love.  (I John 4:8)You see God's love is not based on feelings or emotions.  It cannot be earned.  In fact we were created to receive God's love and to have an intimate relationship with Him.  He loved us so much that He sent His only Son to die a sacrificial death in order to bring us back to this relationship.  Notice that I didn't say anything about a warm, fuzzy feeling or any kind of attraction. If that were the case I can only imagine how His love for me would be over by now considering how many times I have let Him down.  How many times I have hurt Him.  How many times I haven't been a good steward of my time and my God-given talent.  All things considered I would imagine that God might have kicked me to the curb by now. 

Secondly, unconditional loves begins with loving yourself.  Until you learn to love yourself you cannot begin to know how to love someone else unconditionally.  As I look back over my life I can recall the many times I let myself down.  It wasn't about what anyone else thought or what they could do to me.  It was my face I saw in the mirror every morning.  It was the face of someone who had great potential in the beginning, was headed on the right track and slowly but surely got sidetracked down a path of disappointment.  Even though I had accepted Jesus Christ as my Personal Savior I did not have that personal relationship that grew out of life's hardships.  It wasn't until one afternoon, while I was wallowing in my own self pity, God spoke to me.  He reached down and wrapped his loving arms around me and I cried in His arms.  It was as if He were sitting right there with me in that hospital room.  He didn't care anything about my past mistakes.  I asked for forgiveness and forgiveness was granted.  It had been there all along. I simply had to receive it. 

Maybe you are in the middle of a troublesome relationship or maybe you are looking to start a new relationship...whatever the case may be the very foundation of the relationship must be built on God.  You must develop an intimate relationship with Him.  You must give him full access to clean out your heart and perform a transplant.  You must read His Word in order to reveal those things that are not like Him.  Ask Him to help You to forgive yourself.  To accept yourself , flaws and all.  No one is perfect but with God's help we are being perfected.  We must continuously allow God to work in us and through us.   As your relationship grows so should your love for others. 

Most Gracious Heavenly Father,

Thank you for your unconditional love.  A love not based on anything that I have done. In fact you love me in spite of what I have done.  Thank you for forgiveness.  Help me to see myself through Your eyes.  And more importantly help me to see other's through your eyes.  I want a love that is patient, a love that is kind, a love that keeps no record of wrongs.  Create in me a clean heart O God so that each and every day I become more like You.  In Jesus' Wonderful Name I pray Amen. 

Love. A Word that comes and goes but few people really know what it means to really love somebody. ..Kirk Franklin

Many people search the world over trying to find love.  Looking for their soul mate.  Trying to find that one true friend who doesn't betray them.  Wanting their parents to accept them for who they are with no judgments.  So how do we really love somebody?  I don't know about you but loving is one of the hardest challenges I have had to face in my lifetime.  Even now there are times when I fail miserably at this thing called love. So I decided to see what The Bible had to say about love.  Now you would have thought that I would have been directed to 1 Corinthians 13.  'Love is patient, love is kind, it does envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. (verse 4)  While this is a great place to look for what love is and how love behaves, this is not where the Lord led me.  Instead I was led to Matthew 20:26, 'Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant'.  What in the world does this have to do with love?  EVERYTHING!  Until you can first learn how to serve your relationships will not succeed.  Y'all know one of my favorite sayings..."It is not about you."  Everything you do is so God can be glorified. 

As I think back to some of my less successful relationships, there is one common thread to their failure.  I had not learned to be of service to my mate.  This is not the only thing but it was one of the major reasons. I spent countless hours complaining and nagging about what I was not receiving.  After all I was doing all of the giving.  Sacrificing this and that.  I never stopped to ask what he may have needed.  I just assumed that he wanted the same things that I wanted. Big mistake.  Not in a relationship? Well what about your relationship with your children.  It is our job as parents to train them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.  What better way to do this than to teach them how to love!  I know there may be times when you are tired from a long day at work.  Maybe the stresses of bills got you down, wondering how you are going to make ends meet.  Nevertheless, you should still take the time out to give them a hug, help them with their homework, ask them how their day was.  It's harder out there for them now then it was when you were a child.  And showing love is not about what you can buy them. What about the other people in your life, family members and friends, co-workers and even strangers.  Putting others before yourself is the ultimate display of God's love.  Have you ever thought what would happen if each and every morning you woke up asking "What can I do to be of service to those I come in contact with today?"   Can you imagine the outpouring of love that would take place?  How much better our world would be. 

Take a moment and think about it.  If both people in the relationship are doing everything they can to put the other person's needs above their own, how much better would that relationship be.  If even one person in the relationship is doing all he or she can to serve the other person, it is bound to rub off. I know that you may become frustrated, feeling like you are the only one putting forth the effort.  Just remember it is our job to plant the seed.  It is God who gives the increase.  Allow Him to bring about true change.  One thing that I have found is when I try to bring about the change through various methods, change may occur but it is not lasting change.  It doesn't take too long for things to go back to the way they were.  I must always remember that I am held accountable for me.  It may feel good for the moment to play tit for tat.   If she is mean then I am going to be mean.  I'll show him...I just won't talk to him today.  And yet you profess to be a Christian.  It is so funny whenever I use these tactics, the Holy Spirit jumps right in to convict me.  It's not too long before I realize that I am not the person that I used to be.  Some behaviors just don't sit right with me anymore.  I'm not the same and it is because of Christ.  I looked at my hands and they looked new.  I looked at my feet and they did too.  If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature.  Old things are passed away, behold all things have become brand new.  (II Corinthians 5:17)  You must stay in constant prayer that 'love may abound still more and more'. (Phil. 1:9) It's not always going to be easy. Just know that you have help. All throughout the Bible we see examples of those who sacrificed and put their own needs aside, with Jesus Christ being the ultimate sacrifice.  He gave up His life to show just how much He loved us.  He allowed nails to be hammered into His nails and His feet.  He was pierced in His side with a crown of thorns placed on His head.  They hung Him high and stretched Him wide and He died.  But thank God, in three days time, He got up.  Because of this you have a reason to shout.  You have a reason to tell others the Good News.  What better way to show them than by loving others, even the most unlovable. 

Most Gracious Heavenly Father,

I come to You in the humblest way that I know how, realizing how unworthy I am.  I come to you today praying that Your love may abound more and more in my life with all knowledge and discernment.  Help me to be obedient to the Holy Spirit in matters of the heart.  Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart always be acceptable in thy sight, O God, for you are my strength and my redeemer.  I will be so careful as to always give Your name the praise, realizing that what I do is not of my own strength but the power that worketh in me.  In Jesus' Wonderful Name I pray Amen. 

Continue In Love

When you say that you are a Christian, what does it mean?  Does it mean that you go to church on Sunday morning, giving God two hours out of a one hundred sixty-eight hour week? Does it mean you keep a Bible on your desk at work?  Does it mean that you wear a cross around your neck?  Does it mean that you don't drink or you don't smoke?  What does it really mean? I believe that it means that you have recognized that you need help and that there are some things about you that you cannot change on your own.  So you accepted the Lord as your personal Savior.  Asked Him to take up residence in your heart.  You were tired of the way you were and needed someone to come in and perform a transformation.  Man couldn't do it.  Only an all-wise, all-powerful God could. 

My next question for you to ponder is 'how apparent is this transformation'?  What about you is different from the person sitting in the cubicle next to you?  Or the person in front of you in the grocery line?  How do you respond when faced with adversity?  How do you deal with the interruptions of life?  I read a verse today that said 'Let brotherly love continue...Hebrews 13:1.  When I read it I immediately wondered why the writer added the word continue.  What does it actually mean to continue in something?  One definition of continue is 'to exist over a prolonged period'.  But the definition I liked best was 'to go on after an interruption'.  In the previous chapter of the book of Hebrews, the writer focused on some of the essentials of Christian living.  Right living should continue in spite of life's interruptions.  You should continue to love even when people don't treat you right.  Love should be persistent even when it is not returned.  It should be shown even when it seems like everyone is against you.  Life is  full of ups and downs.....what I like to refer to as interruptions.  Those things that can turn your heart bitter and make you want to just look out for you and you alone.  We must remember as Christians though, that our life is our witness.  People may listen to the words you say but they pay more attention to what you do.  How you respond?  What will your reaction be?  Do you respond in  love in all things?  I believe that the writer used the word continue because he knew that we would be faced with people that would be difficult to love.  He knew that people close to us would sometimes hurt us, disappoint us, be mean to us.  The writer must have guessed that people who knew us way back when would be waiting on us to slip up.  He knew that certain circumstances and situations would make us want to retaliate against others. That is why he said to make sure we continue in brotherly love.  This type of love comes only from God.  It's the kind of love that makes us forgive out brother and our sister.  It gives us the ability to turn the other cheek.  Always remembering that love is patient.  Love is kind.  It does not envy; it does not boast; it is not proud. (I Corinthians 13:4)   When faced with the challenges of this life we must remember that love should always be our response.  It doesn't mean that we are weak.  In fact, it shows that we are strong.  Anyone can lash out at the person who does wrong against us but it takes a much stronger person to say "I forgive you". 

Most Gracious Heavenly Father,

I stretch my hands to You.  No other help I know.  If thou withdraw thyself from me oh whether shall I go.  Lord, here I stand in all humility asking you to help me to love as You love. To remember that it is not about me.  My desire is to please You in everything I do.  I understand that means that I must put my selfish desires aside and be obedient to Your Word in all things.  Forgive me of my sin of unforgiveness and not loving my brother and my sister.  I want to be more and more like You.  In Jesus' Wonderful Name I pray Amen.